The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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