Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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