I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
