i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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