hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
