I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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