life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
