Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So. Much. Porn.
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