U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think my vagina is haunted
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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