I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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