i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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