Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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