around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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