someone owes me an orgasm
I'm passing your future prison.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
