How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
