dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
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Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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