your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
