I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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