so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
