the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
