so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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