I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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