It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
