To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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