Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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