It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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