you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize