too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need a burrito and a hug.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
