did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
