You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
