I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
