508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
