We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
