remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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