Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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