Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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