dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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