I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize