Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And then he peed in my hair
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