Just fell off a train. Bad.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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