He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Are my feet made of real feet?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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