He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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