I should be sponsored by Trojan
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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