Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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