Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
