you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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