Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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