LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
