if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
