we have officially lost it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
