You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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