"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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