I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
