Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize