we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
