Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
