That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
