hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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