I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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