Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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